Waiting . . .

Two days and no answer.  Two days ago I sent an email to our ASP (adoption service provider) asking if we would need to renew our home study.  They must not even know.  

Let me catch you up a bit.  We have reached 1A status for an adoption from Vietnam.  1A status means that we have cleared all paper work hurdles our dossier is logged and a match is being actively sought. When we were informed of our 1A status in late January we were told that we should have a match by Feb. 28th.  We also have been told once we reach 1A status they thought our dossier would be “frozen”.  I never received a confirmation of this.  Our home study expires July 12th, about two months away.  Since we do not have a referral yet it is highly unlikely that we will complete our adoption before that date.   If you don’t think all that is frustrating add to it the fact that we have been “2nd on the list” since April 2007, yes 2007.  So, if we need to renew out home study it will be the second renewal, third set of fees, and about the 6th set of papers we have sent through the state and national offices to receive various approvals.   

A few days ago I read an ecstatically happy post from a young woman who was nearing completion of her first home study.  She felt all their work was over and that a baby would be in their home in as little as two months.  My heart went out to her.  I hope that she is right.  When your anticipation is that high the crash could be mighty hard.  Waiting is the worst part of the process.  When you are running around gathering papers and putting it all together you feel like there is progress.  You are doing something positive, you are moving forward.  When you wait, doldrums, every miniscule bit of news is like a tiny breeze that gives hope but no movement. 

If anyone out there is considering an adoption from Vietnam, look else where.  Those in the system already face a wait far longer than anyone could have guessed.  Each time we have felt close to moving forward, rules change, there is a new form to be submitted, or the same form again and again and again.  Things are so bad that the US is closing the system again, no new applications after July 1st.  Many people will say a new agreement is in the works and they are confident everything will be fine.  The truth is they don’t know and they are only trying to keep you calm and interested in the program.  Money is the bottom line here and in Vietnam.  The kids are just another commodity to them.