Good, but not great.

A bit of news.  Scroll to the bottom, third to last paragraph.  Not what many were hoping to hear, but at least it came up in conversation.

The Perils of Penelope . . . pineapple, that is.

When I wrote in my last post :

 Stay tuned to find out the fate of Penelope Pineapple.  Will it be the grill, the blender, or something more sinister?! 

I didn’t actually intend to blog about the pineapple in my refrigerator.  BUT, dinner tonight was so good that I just have to share!  Not only was it really good, I didn’t ruin my calorie count eating it.  Sorry, it was not the grilled desert (but here is the link to my favorite gilled pineapple/desert), not the blender, it was the chopping block!  (Insert evil laughter here.)  

Grilled Tuna with Pineapple and Rice

This recipe fed my family of three with a lot of left-overs.  (Yum, I can’t wait for lunch tomorrow!)

First the tuna (2-6 oz. Steaks).  I marinated it for about 30 min. in the following ingredients.  A zip bag with the excess air pushed out works really well.  With the bag you don’t need to make a huge amount of marinade to cover the steaks.

• 1/4 cup Olive Oil
• 1 TBS Soy Sauce
• 2 TBS Lemon Juice
• 2 Cloves Garlic smashed
• 2 Tsp Grated Ginger Root

While the tuna marinated in the fridge, I started the rice cooking.  (Mini Rant:  DO NOT USE INSTANT RICE!  If you are bothering to cook real food, cook some real rice while you are at it!)  I used 2 cups (rice cooker size) of Jasmine rice (my fav!) and used a can of low sodium/fat chicken stock and added water for the rest of the liquid.  (Using low sodium/fat stock lets you control the amount of these ingredients in your food.  You can always add more if you want it.  It is not a diet thing, just a good cooking habit thing.)  I also tossed some minced onion (1/2 small), and ginger root (1 TBS) in with the rice.

While the rice was cooking and the tuna marinated, I chopped up the following:

• 1/4 Pineapple in 1″ chunks
• 1 Orange in 1/2 ” chunks
• 2 TBS Fresh Cilantro 
• 2 TBS Fresh Parsley
• 2 TBS Fresh Chives

(Some red pepper would’ve been nice, but I didn’t have any.)

By now your rice is well under way and you can grill the Tuna.  4 min. each side over high heat.  (The grill must be preheated.)  When rice and tuna are done, chop the tuna into bite size chunks.  Toss tuna, rice, fruit, and herbs together and add:

• Juice of 1/2 Lime
• 2 Tsp Olive Oil
• Salt and Pepper

And toss again.

Serve with Soy Sauce or Nuoc Mam on the side.  I prefer Nuoc Mam myself, nothing like the salty sweetness to go with the ginger and pineapple!  What is Nuoc Mam?  Vietnam’s all purpose condiment made from anchovy extract, salt and sugar.  One of those things that is WAY better than the sum of it’s ingredients.

And now the Mom’s are out there saying, “Grilled Tuna!  My kids/husband will never eat that!”  But they will. Really.  My son has remarked that last two times I have served tuna “Mom, how come tuna tastes like chicken?”  I don’t know the answer to that (in part because it doesn’t taste like chicken to me), but I do know he eats the tuna with less complaint than chicken!

So, there it is; the first post about the pineapple in my fridge.  Tune in tomorrow when our villain will say, “Smoothies anyone?”

Unmasked!

I never set out to write an adoption blog.  It was just supposed to be a place to write down my thoughts and rant a bit when work was getting to me.  Stats show that readers that check in here are looking for adoption news, or for an Easy Salmon Glaze.  Adoptions are far more dramatic reading, so guess which get the most hits?  

What I’ve learned about myself so far is that adoption is on my mind far more than I would like to admit.  I’ve made a habit of pretending that I’m all cool, calm and patient.  I’ve even fooled myself at times.  My ASP thinks I’m some sort of saint.  I told her that I’m really just putting on a face for the public, she then informed me that I’m not giving myself enough credit.  Maybe it’s true, the secretary told me everyone who calls about international adoptions right now is either crying or screaming.

I just wrapped up the last bit of home study #6 this morning.  So, all there is to do now is wait.  There will be little to blog about adoption wise the next two months unless there is news about the MOU extension or we actually get a referral.  My doubts are huge.  The gossip I got from the agency secretary leads me to believe that renewing our home study was a waste of money and time.  I can’t even vent about it here because it would identify my agency beyond any doubt and would probably lead to legal issues.  

What to do next?  Maybe nothing.  This process has a taken a toll on both J and I.  It’s not the waiting alone.  There have been so many times when it looked like we were Ok, and then there would be new regulations, or nothing would happen when we were told it would.  My hopes have been rudely dashed more times than I can count.  Somehow I just put on the happy mask and move on.  My mask is wearing out though.

China?  I don’t think so.  The reasons we picked Vietnam over China are still the same and still keep me away.  And, now with China’s new regulations we are not even eligible anyway.  (Update, turns out we would be eligible, the BMI index cut off is 40 and over.  I am overweight, but not that much.)   If we were to go to another Asian country we would need to switch agencies and start again.  I know there will never be an ideal situation, I need to figure out what compromises I’m willing to make.  Maybe I need to take a break?  I have a pineapple in the fridge that would make a great desert if grilled.

 Hmmm . . . Stay tuned to find out the fate of Penelope Pineapple.  Will it be the grill, the blender, or something more sinister?!

(Dramatic enough for you?)

And Counting Down . . .

76 days and counting down.  That is the time left until the MOU expires and I will be infertile again.

Our first child did not come easily.  After years of infertility, IVF and failed domestic adoptions, adoption from Vietnam was such a joy.  So easy compared to all we had been through.  I was overjoyed that I had found the way to build our family.  I could have all the children I wanted.  Now, I feel like I am facing infertility all over again.  I once feared the biological clock, now I fear the calendar.  September 1st looms before me like a death sentence for my yet to be child.  A child we have waited for, planned for . . .

An extra coat hook and basket in the entry, a fourth towel for the family of three, boxes of unisex baby clothing packed away from my first, for my second.  A crib in the attic.  A spare room that was not meant to be spare.

I know I have to start moving on, but how?  I don’t feel like I have any fight left in me, logic tells me to grieve, begin letting go.  But there are still 76 days left.  Enough time for a miracle. 

Do You Know?

Courtesy the blog stats provided by word press it seems that there are some other Vietnam waiting parents stopping into my blog on a some-what regular basis.  So, after reading what Tad has been saying at Adoption Buzz about how there is a lot of information out there we just have to share and organize it, I thought I would share this.

First a disclaimer: PLEASE remember what is written here applies to one adoption service provider, mine.  Even if you know you are using my provider, check with them.  You should know that every province and each orphanage has different procedures, regulations and so on.  DO NOT THINK THAT THIS WILL APPLY TO YOU.

Last week we got a contract addendum from our provider.   It got me thinking about the new things in the process, specifically where do DNA testing and I-600 fit into the process. Things I once understood now seemed as clear as mud.  I sent these questions to our adoption service provider.

 

. . .  the things that are not clear to me is how the process works when we get a referral now that the I-600 and DNA testing are a part of the process.  

1. For instance, IF DNA testing is required, do we accept the referral and then do the the testing, or can we wait  for the DNA test results and then accept?  It would make no sense to me (but who am I) to accept a referral before the child has been proven to be an orphan.

2. AND, at what point in the the process are the Foreign Fees Due?  Before or after the I-600 approval?  If we pay those fees before and approval is NOT gained, and the program is now closed because the MOU has expired, are the fees lost even though the child was not available.  

The refund policy of the contract states the funds MIGHT be transferable to another child from that same country.  But if the program has closed what happens; lost fees?

A day and a half later, there was a general announcement sent via list serve that told us the the DNA testing is initiated by the filing of the I-600. And that I-600 approval process and the DNA test happen at the same time.  Naturally I-600 approval would not be given until the DNA test results were in, but not expected to delay the process.

It is now three days after the request for information and I have heard nothing answering the rest of my questions.  My concern is not with lost fees, just the stress reduction of knowing what to expect.  After more than a year of quiet patient and trusting waiting, I’m ready for some dialogue!

MY POINT IS THIS.  Do you know the finer points of how your contract works; how the new procedures will mesh with your particular agreement?  If you don’t, please start asking questions.  It seems one of the most wide spread problems with agencies is their ability to educate and keep clients informed of what exactly they have singed on for. One of the advocate organizations (forgive me, I’ve forgotten which one) felt that real changes in the international adoption world would need to come via the service providers (agencies) not through governments.  I agree.  However, I think that further motivation could be supplied to both government and agencies by clients who are educated about international adoption and demand detailed information about how their adoption will proceed.  We have already had to swallow the fact that there are commercial factors that drive adoption.  (Yuck!)  If that is the case, be a consumer.  Ask questions, and when you don’t get answers, ask again.

I’m not suggesting that everyone get on the phone and start yelling.  That would hardly be productive.  Just ask calmly, and wait.  If you hear nothing in a week or so, then ask again.

Dear Tiger,

As I was mending you today I realized that I owe you a debt of thanks.  You have been my son’s faithful friend for five and a half years and I couldn’t be more grateful.  You have been by his side during dark nights, storms, sickness and more.  You sat in the back seat of the car and kept him company as I drove.  You have cuddled S when I could not, while I was at work, running errands, tending to the business of life.  You have given hugs during time-outs, when I had to put on the “stern mother” act.  And, when I wanted to drop the act you looked over his shoulder at me and said with your blue eyes “It’s Ok mom, he will be all right, hold your ground.”    You are a great playmate and always know the rules to the games that baffle me.  You can sing the songs, and do the dances, and you have even told jokes.  How do you do it all?  I believe you have even taken the blame for some minor mischief. 

Today I added to your stuffing and mended the small hole that began to grow at your neck again.  Today I wondered how long you would stay with my son.  Would you always understand his problems in ways that I cannot?  How long do we have before your love is not enough and he needs more than cuddles and hugs to make everything Ok?  As you grow threadbare, he grows wiser and will soon need answers about who he is and why he is a member of this family.  I know that I cannot provide everything he will need, especially all the answers.   Just as you have helped both of us over the years, we will need to seek help from others in the future.  But dear Tiger, do not fear, you will always have a home with me even if S no longer has a need for you.  For I will need you to help me remember the wonderful, beautiful years we spent together;  S, Tiger and me.